This is the last part in our series distinguishing between needs and wants. We have discussed the difference and similarities of needs and wants. We have determined that sometimes they are the same thing, and other times they are vastly different.
Again, let me tell you about a patient. This wasn’t my patient. He was a patient of another therapist where I used to work. This older gentleman had come to therapy after having his knee replaced. (Definitely not my patient with that diagnosis.) He was seeing a younger therapist. Early in the week, I overheard this patient telling his therapist that he didn’t feel he was getting a lot out of therapy. That he really didn’t see the point. The therapist told him he needed therapy because he had his knee replaced. No (kidding) Sherlock! Later in the week, I again overheard the patient tell the therapist, “I
don’t need to be here. I can do this at home by myself. You are just having me do the exercises you gave me for at home, here. It’s a waste of my time and Medicare’s dollars.” And with that he left and didn’t come back. The therapist said some nasty remarks about the “cranky/rude/impatient” patient and how he’ll be sorry when he has a stiff knee.
Now, those who know me will tell you that I am outspoken. I asked that young therapist if he had listened to what the patient said. Was he just doing exercises in therapy that could be done at home? Did the therapist explain why coming for therapy was important? Did he stay with the patient during his visit and develop a rapport with them as they exercised? From observation, I knew that he never explained exercise, or why it was important to do. I also know as soon as he gave a patient something to do, he disappeared to his desk to do some web surfing. The young therapist said, “He just needed to listen to me.” I replied that sometimes, it was better to listen to the patient. That is how you hear what their wants are, so you can match it to their needs.
In this case, the patient was trying to get the therapist to meet his wants. He wanted to know why he was doing specific exercises, what was the benefit from coming to therapy? In this case, his wants (an attentive therapist who explains things well) significantly affected his needs (to get more out of his knee). In some cases, the inexperience and youthful arrogance of the therapist does not hear the patient expressing his needs. This therapist was resentful and angry that the patient was questioning his therapeutic skills. It put him on the defensive.
A good therapist would have taken the 1 st comments as a note to be more attentive, as well as explain what the patient is doing and why. He should have explained each and every aspect of his exercises and why he NEEDS to do them a specific way. Basically, those first complaints should have cued the therapist that he needed to adjust his treatment so they patient would get what he wants and therefore, get what he needs. Basically, it would have “talked the patient off the ledge” of deciding to just quit therapy. I know the patient never came back there for therapy. I only hope he went elsewhere. It just goes to show: You do NOT have to go where your doctor told you to. A lot of therapists who work with specific doctors will tell you that “I have complete access to the doctor in case there is a problem” or “If you come here, the doctor will have full updates on your progress”. All therapists can contact a doctor and do so if there is a problem. I have never had a problem contacting a doctor. All therapists send your evaluations and re-evaluations to the doctor, and the doctor signs them and therefore, is kept up to date on your progress. Keep in mind a therapist who works only with the doctor may not have your best outcome in mind. The doctor may get revenue from you being in therapy. Because they only have access to a set protocol or specific doctors, a therapist may have a limited knowledge of newer techniques. Most importantly, they may not care what your outcome is—there is always another patient waiting for them.
So again, if you aren’t getting what you need out of therapy. Go somewhere else. You “own” your order/prescription for therapy. All you have to do is get a copy of it and then take it to someone that will listen to your needs. If your former therapy calls to find out where you are (therapists do this to determine if they should close out the chart), just tell them that your needs weren’t getting met. If you can’t do that, tell them you decided to go to therapy closer to home, or that rides were difficult, so you are now going to ________. Either way, in this case your NEED of getting good therapy, is more important than their WANTing you to continue therapy with them. You get to choose. Choose wisely.